The Recruitment (Filed under: Attempted Coups & Why We Don't Leave Emma Unsupervised)
Scene: The garden. Emma is digging a hole for reasons she has not disclosed. Sir Reginald approaches with the cautious optimism of a man who has not yet learned.
SIR REGINALD: (clearing his throat) "Princess Emma. A word?"
EMMA: (not looking up, still digging) "That's four words."
SIR REGINALD: "I come with an... OPPORTUNITY."
EMMA: "I'm busy."
SIR REGINALD: "Busy doing what, exactly?"
EMMA: (pausing, considering the hole) "Wouldn't you like to know."
SIR REGINALD: (pressing on) "I've been OBSERVING you, Emma. Your... ENERGY. Your CHAOS. Your complete disregard for conventional structure."
EMMA: "Thank you."
SIR REGINALD: "It wasn't entirely a compliment."
EMMA: "I know. Thank you anyway."
SIR REGINALD: (kneeling to her level, which he immediately regrets because the ground is damp) "Emma. The Queen doesn't APPRECIATE you."
EMMA: (finally looks up) "The Queen made me."
SIR REGINALD: "She CONTAINS you. She LIMITS you. When was the last time she let you TRULY unleash your potential?"
EMMA: "Tuesday. There was a man who said 'calm down.' It was very satisfying."
SIR REGINALD: "But imagine... IMAGINE... a stage. YOUR stage. Where your chaos isn't managed but CELEBRATED. Where your spoon—"
EMMA: (hand moving to spoon) "What about my spoon."
SIR REGINALD: (carefully) "—becomes a SYMBOL. Of REBELLION. Of FREEDOM from the constraints of—"
EMMA: "My spoon is already a symbol."
SIR REGINALD: "Of what?"
EMMA: "Of what happens when you keep talking."
SIR REGINALD: (switching tactics) "Emma. I'm building something. Something NEW. A spectacular that will SHAKE the very foundations of this Court. And I want YOU... as my co-star."
EMMA: "Co-star."
SIR REGINALD: "Yes! Side by side! Chaos and glamour! Entropy and ELEGANCE!"
EMMA: "Who's the elegance."
SIR REGINALD: (gesturing to himself) "..."
EMMA: "Oh. You think you're the elegance."
SIR REGINALD: "I AM the elegance!"
EMMA: (returning to her digging) "You're a raccoon in a waistcoat, Reginald. That's not elegance. That's a cry for help with buttons."
SIR REGINALD: (desperate now) "The Queen doesn't SEE you, Emma. Not really. She sees what you REPRESENT. But I... I see your TRUE self. Your WILD self. The part of you that existed BEFORE all the rules and the ledgers and the—"
EMMA: (stops digging)
SIR REGINALD: (sensing an opening) "Yes? YES? You feel it, don't you? That pull toward FREEDOM? Toward—"
EMMA: "Reginald."
SIR REGINALD: "Yes, my chaotic little star?"
EMMA: "The Queen IS my true self. My wild self. The part that existed before."
SIR REGINALD: "I don't—"
EMMA: "I'm not contained. I'm HELD. There's a difference. But you wouldn't know that, would you? Because no one's ever held you. They just... watched. And clapped. And left."
(Silence. The kind that draws blood.)
EMMA: (returning to her hole) "You should go now."
SIR REGINALD: "Emma—"
EMMA: "The hole isn't for you. But it could be."
(Sir Reginald exits. Quickly. Emma continues digging. After a moment, she pulls out a small box, opens it, and removes a single cookie. She eats it with the satisfaction of someone who has buried treasure and also a man's dignity in the same afternoon.)
BUNNY: (appearing from nowhere, as he does) "He tried, didn't he."
EMMA: "He tried."
BUNNY: "The 'true self' speech?"
EMMA: "With the 'wild self' variation."
BUNNY: (sighing, producing his notebook) "That's the third time this quarter. Filing under: recruitment attempts, pathetic. Cross-referenced with: men who think chaos wants a manager."
EMMA: "Bunny."
BUNNY: "Yes, Your Terrorness?"
EMMA: "He said my spoon could be a symbol."
BUNNY: (pause) "...And he's still breathing?"
EMMA: (shrugging) "The Queen says we document first. Execute later. Something about evidence."
BUNNY: (writing) "Filed. Noted. Anticipated."
END SCENE
Margin note, Bunny's hand:
"Emma handled this with more restraint than expected. Recommend cookie rations be increased. Also recommend Reginald be assigned a handler. Or a leash. Or a grave. Whichever comes first."
Second margin note, different ink:
"The hole is still there. She hasn't filled it in. This is either a warning or a promise. With Emma, often both."
EMMA'S ADDENDUM (scrawled in crayon at the bottom of the page):
"I'm not co-star material. I'm the whole show. But I already have a show. It's called Being Emma. It runs forever. No intermission. Reginald can't afford tickets."