Internal Court Memorandum
From: The Desk of Bunny, Corporate Manifestation of “Hi! No.”
To: All Staff, Citizens, Mascots, Emotional Support Raccoons
Subject: Unauthorized Emotional Theater & Poster Defacement Allegations
Let the record show:
Yes. I did it.
I spray-painted “Hi! No.” across Sir Reginald Fluffsworth’s smug, velvet-lapeled likeness, complete with his limp rosette and emotionally manipulative eyes. Why? Because I could. And because someone needed to. You’re welcome.
Background:
Sir Reg, while technically a court-recognized entity of Dusk and Disco, has taken certain liberties with his branding. He has appointed himself:
Mascot of Melodramatic Nostalgia
Ambassador of “I’m Trying” Buttons
Host of the annual Emotional Theater Gala (we did not vote on this)
Meanwhile, some of us are out here working. Filing complaints, issuing refusal slips, dragging glitter bombs across the velvet warpath and doing our job with flair, trauma, and a 3-inch heel.
Incident Details:
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Defacement occurred sometime between "Too Tired to Pretend O’Clock" and "If One More Man Says He Understands, I Will Scream into a Filing Cabinet".
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Graffiti was applied using Court-Issue Ink No. 3 (Petty Black).
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Crown iconography has been confirmed as Bunny’s.
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Reg’s reaction: “Oh no, my branding!”
Bunny’s response: “Exactly.”
Outcome:
This is not an apology. This is performance improvement feedback.
Sir Reg is hereby assigned:
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3 sessions of silent reflection under the glitter ball
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1 rewatch of Bunny’s Corporate Diary: The Slap Schedule Edition
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Temporary reassignment to “Mascot of Minor Regret”
Effective immediately, all “Hi! No.” materials will be tagged with the Defaced Reg Official™ seal. Those caught sympathizing with him may be sentenced to one awkward lunch with someone who “just wants to pick your brain.”
Final Note:
If you’re upset by this memo, please fill out Form 17B: “Bunny Hurt My Feelings” and submit it directly into the trash.
Kind regards,
Bunny
Acting Head of Corporate HR
Court Enforcer of Strategic Noncompliance
Emotional Saboteur Extraordinaire