The Official Slap Request Slip™ Download

Filed under: Strategic Corrections of Face and Offense

Have you witnessed a crime against decorum, dignity, or the divine order of your patience? Submit your grievance with flair. The Official Slap Request Slip is a downloadable form from the Velinwood Court Archives, allowing you to formally document offenses, outline necessary corrections, and submit for Court review and approval.

Includes designated fields for:

• Name of Offender (or Alias, if they don't deserve to be remembered)

• Nature of the Offense (minor slight, major betrayal, beige energy, etc.)

• Preferred Correction Method

• Additional Notes (for flair or evidence)

• Optional: Petty Blue Severity Scale™

This form may be printed, filled out dramatically, tucked in a journal, burned with ceremony, or mailed anonymously (we’re not not saying Bunny accepts tributes by crow). Use with discretion. Or don't. Bunny isn’t watching. (He is.)

Small Print / Legal Things Bunny Pretends to Understand

1. Submission of this form does not guarantee the right to slap; it merely indicates a strong emotional leaning toward corrective action.

2. All slaps must be performed with dramatic intent and a minimum of three (3) witnesses, one of whom must gasp audibly.

3. The Velinwood Court assumes no responsibility for chipped nails, torn lace, or minor emotional scarring sustained during execution.

4. Approved applicants must moisturize both before and after impact.

5. Any attempt to weaponize glitter without prior authorization from Bunny will result in immediate confiscation of sparkly materials.

6. Re-application for additional slaps must include proof of personal growth or proof that the offender is still asking for it.

7. This document expires at midnight unless framed, burned, or dramatically tossed onto a marble floor.

Signed:
🐇 Bunny, Esq., Head of Strategic Corrections
🖋 Velinwood Court HR Department (Reluctantly)

Format: PNG – single page
Use: Printable or digital – for personal spite deployment
Price: Free (emotionally expensive)